MOUNT

RUSHMORE

of Trophies

TURDELL

THE

Let's get it
on...

Ottolini 5 Sharp 4 Deacon 3 Knapp 3 Wismans 3 Bendert 1 Phillion 1 Taseski 1

Background

Following a successful democratic process on draft day 2011, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ordained its championship trophy, the Turdell. Named in honor of a 6'8" 355lb slab of delectable man meat. Nothing better represents the LEG than Terdell Sands; a combination of ruggedly handsome and deadly brute force.

Born Halloween 1979, Terdell was destined to reign terror on opposing Quarterbacks. Quickly devouring all college had to offer, Terdell left the University of Tennessee after one year. The young prodigy then politely allowed 242 players to be selected before him, going in the 7th round of the 2001 NFL draft. When asked by Pam Ward about the unorthodox move, Terdell responded “big Terd need big motivation”. To translate, his agent, Scott Boras, said “it was in order to manufacture at least six times the animosity for each franchise he passed on”.

Over the next eight years, Terdell Sands scoured the United States stomping on quarterbacks and gobbling up double downs from KFC (before they were on the menu). Terdell was so well known for his love of double downs that when he exhausted the Colonel's supply in Kansas City, he arrived in Green Bay, Oakland, and then New England to hoards of fans lining the streets between the stadium and local KFC franchises.

In 2009, Terdell and the New England Patriots came to a mutual understanding. Despite Sands role as a leader and pro bowl consumer of anything and everything, it was time to walk away. When asked why he was done and why he never chose to win a Superbowl, Terdell responded “no more Terd in double decka bowls, nothing super about a bowl with no mashed tatters”. To translate, Scott Boras said “it was never about wins and losses for Terdell, but getting his fill and exploding on the opposition", "he has nothing left in the pipes". While many speculate it was due to KFC raising their prices or quarterbacks transitioning to two-ply padding, the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Terdell Sands left it all out on the field and when he was through, he didn't hemorrhage or bleed, he simply stopped pushing. And for that, he truly is, LEGendary.